Found a thing on my old art blog (that I should really start using again)...

The Memory In The Mask

Who is the River's Wayward Daughter?

She is the face behind the mask, glimpsed from the corner of the eye in the shards of the broken mirror.

She is a fluttering of a gauze skirt in the twilight breeze of the ocean
She is a jingling of a bell, deep in the heart of the forest at noon.
She is the half-remembered thread of a tune heard in childhood.
She is a mortar and pestle carved from white marble, stained with smoke and fire.
She is the faint scent of petrichor and amber, overlaid with pine.
She is the footstep in the sand at the edge of the pavement at the crossed road.
She is a scrap of silk filled with dried lavender and rose and mint, tied with a ribbon.
She is the shadow at the river's edge in the moonlight.
She is a beeswax candle on a table beside a notebook and pen.
She is the reflection of the moon in a cup of red wine.

She is the face once worn, before time and life stripped the forest and the sea.
She is the voice once spoken, and the dreams once dreamed.
She is the face beneath the mask that was taken to cover the flame-scorched burns and wear a life that was not hers.

She is behind the mask, but not the one who wears the mask.

She is what was and what was lost and that which must be found

She is the memory in the mask of the one who came before.

She is me, but I am not her.

It's funny... when I was little, my mother decided that I needed to take all manner of classes... gymnastics, ballet, tap dance... and I LOATHED them all.  Okay, actually, I kinda liked tap, but it's not something that can be practiced when you live on the 3rd floor of an apartment building with more or less no sound-proofing, so that was short-lived.  I started to like dance again when we joined Upstairs/Downstairs, which was all musical theater, and so dance became part of my normal life routine for the next 13 years.

I HATED going to the school dances, though.  Probably because my classmates were evil little douchebags and I got made fun of a lot.  The fact that I didn't know how non-choreographed dance worked didn't help.  Instead, I would take my walkman out into the dark nights to dance in the shadows where no one could see me but the stars and the trees, because I loved to dance.

Somewhere along the line, though, I learned to be self-conscious about dancing and stopped doing it.  I'd take it up now and again, through SCA stuff, or when no one was home, but that was it.  One of my best friends tried for YEARS to get me to go in to Boston to Manray with him, but I never did.  Then, a couple of years ago, I got talked into going to Sin-o-Matic with a group of folks and discovered that once I break past the initial self-consciousness, I WILL dance and don't care who may or may not see.

I've been meaning to take belly dance classes for YEARS.  It's gorgeous and it's something that I'm highly intrigued by.  The internet has also been very useful in helping me overcome the major weight insecurities I've always fought.

Then along came Shadows of Amun, and a huge key in my character's backstory is that she is a dancer.  Her love of dancing is a central point to her entire life.

I'm currently coordinating taking belly dance classes.  Not in a "I should look into it" kind of way, but in an actively working out one-on-one intro lessons to get the basic mechanics before moving into a group class, so that I will be able to actually perform in-game by next year.

I feel like I should be terrified, or at least nervous, but instead I'm just festeringly excited and can't wait to get started.

I think this game is going to be good for me, when it's not emotionally scarring me with Plot.  ;) 

At some point I'll need to write something about Shadows.  Right now, overwhelmed feels are overwhelmed.

Dear gods...

Because I am a dork...




Why yes, I am procrastinating on writing my PEL because I can't remember what-all I did all weekend...

(For the curious, the words from this title, and the words that were in Morgan's signature on the forum is from this song. It's one of my favorites.)

As anticipated, the end of Endgame makes me very sad. Somehow, by some alchemical combination of writing, words, and action, we managed to tap that primordial part of the human psyche that is forever huddling shoulder to shoulder by the fire against the unknown terrors lurking in the dark. This is hard to leave. The Fields We Know are somehow....less...for having seen the chimeric world that is Temple.

In many ways, Endgame for me was not the big fights and mods and *insert game terminology here*, it was small exchanges and vignettes. ( The little things, really...Collapse )

So, I'm doing some research on costuming and character ideas for the next larp I plan on playing, which involves a lot of scouring of the Interwebs.

Today's research has been on attempting to locate a good source for acquiring a headscarf or three. This lead to articles on the various meanings/traditions/etc. about wearing of headscarves; how to wear them, why to wear them, etc.

Holy crap. Who knew that a 36 x 36 inch square of CLOTH could have such HUGE EARTH-SHATTERING CONTROVERSIES?!

Seriously, I've seen everything from the moderate "Different people around the world wear them for different reasons and if you choose to wear it, that's cool. If not, that's cool, too" to "OMFG!IF YOU WEAR A *insert cultural name for scarf* AND YOU'RE NOT A 100% PURE-BLOODED CARD-CARRYING ONE OF MY PARTICULAR GROUP/MINDSET/ME YOU ARE HORRIBLE/EVIL/MUST DIE 'CAUSE OMG!CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!!!!!"

Dear gods. Humans really love finding excuses to be offended, don't they?

Question for folks: When you think of meditation or mindfulness practices, what comes to mind?

(This is an open ended question with no right/wrong answers or particular direction I want it to go in. I'm looking to start teaching classes in the not very distant future on the subject, and am curious as to people's general thoughts/ideas/conceptions/etc. of the subject.)

(xposted in multiple locations, so I apologize for spamming the folks who cross them all.)

Why did the Mass. state governor institute the first statewide travel ban in 34 years?

Gee, I have no clue...




(I'm in the "Potential for 3 feet of snow by tomorrow" zone.)

*sigh*

Some people make cute bunnies.

I make bunny golems.

Is there a market for demon bunnies? I'm REALLY good at them...

As much as I love how they turn out, I have to admit that sapling Foxentrees are ugly as all hell... ;)